The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying women who are religiously committed, as he said:

“Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466.

‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

What this means is that a man who is religiously committed and of noble character should make religion his focus in all things, especially with regard to long-term matters. So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined finding a wife who is religiously committed, which is the ultimate goal.

“may your hands be rubbed with dust” is urging him to strive hard and roll up his sleeves and seek that which is enjoined. ‘Awn al-Ma’bood (6/31).

With regard to the attributes of religiously committed women, we may list many attributes which apply to women who are described as religiously committed. These include:

1. Sound belief

This is the most important attribute. The woman who is from ahl al-sunnah wa’l-jamaa’ah will have achieved the highest and most precious characteristic of religiously-committed women, and the one who is a follower of bid’ah (innovation) and misguidance will not be one of the religiously committed women whom the Muslim is encouraged to marry, because of the bad effect that she will have on the husband or children, or on both.

2.Obedience to her husband, and not going against him if he enjoins something that is right

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: It was said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): Which of women is best? He said:

“The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells her to do something, and does not disobey him with regard to herself or her wealth in a way that he dislikes.”Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3131); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.

So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned together three important characteristics to be found in the good, righteous wife. They are:

(i) When he looks at her, he is happy with her religious commitment, attitude, behaviour and appearance.

(ii) When he is away from her, she protects his honour and his wealth.

(iii) If he tells her to do something, she obeys him, so long as he does not tell her to commit sin.

3. Helping her husband in his faith and religious commitment, telling him to do acts of obedience and stopping him from doing haraam things.

It was narrated that Thawbaan said: When there was revealed about silver and gold what was revealed, they said: So what kind of wealth should we acquire? ‘Umar said: I will find out about that for you. So he mounted his camel and caught up with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I was right behind him. He said: O Messenger of Allaah, what kind of wealth should we acquire? He said: “Let one of you acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allaah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”

Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi (3094). In another version it says: “who will help him with his faith.” Ibn Maajah (1856). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“A believing wife who will help him with his faith” means, with his religious commitment, by reminding him to pray, fast and do other acts of worship, and will keep him from committing zina and all other haraam deeds. Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (8/390).

4. She should be a righteous woman

Among the attributes of the righteous woman is that she is obedient to her Lord and fulfils her husband’s rights with regard to his wealth and herself, even when her husband is absent.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property)”

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient” means: obedient to Allaah, may He be exalted.

“guard in the husband’s absence” means: they are obedient to their husbands and even in their absence they guard themselves and their husband’s wealth, seeking the help of Allaah in that, because no one can do that by himself or herself, for the self is inclined towards evil, but the one who puts his trust in Allaah, He will suffice him and help him in his religious and worldly affairs.

Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 177)

It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are four things that are essential for happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious home, a good neighbour and a sound means of transportation. And there are four things that make one miserable: a bad neighbour, a bad wife, a small house and a bad means of transportation.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in al-Saheehah (1232); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (282) and Saheeh al-Targheeb (1914).

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A righteous wife will be with her righteous husband for many years, and she is the one who is meant in the hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”

This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined when the Muhaajiroon asked him which kind of wealth they should acquire, and he said: “Let one of you acquire a tongue that remembers Allaah, a thankful heart, and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Saalim ibn Abi’l-Ja’d, from Thawbaan.

She may offer the love and compassion that Allaah speaks of in His Book, and the pain of separation may be harder for her than death in some cases, and harder than losing wealth or leaving one’s homeland, especially if one of them is fond of the other or they have children together who will be harmed by separation.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (35/299).

5. Good etiquette and knowledge

It was narrated that Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“There are three who will be given a double reward: a man from among the people of the Book who believed in his Prophet, then lived to see the Prophet (S) and followed him and believed in him– he will have a double reward; and a slave who fulfils his duty towards Allaah and towards his master – he will have a double reward; and a man who had a slave woman whom he fed and fed her well, and taught her and taught her well, then he set her free and married her – he will have a double reward.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (97) and Muslim (154).

Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“and taught her” means he taught her good manners.

“and taught her well” means teaching in a kind manner. Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi (4/218).

6. Doing acts of worship and obedience, and refraining from haraam things.

This is part of what being religiously committed means, that is mentioned in the saheeh hadeeth that we quoted at the beginning of our answer.

Al-Khateeb al-Sharbeeni al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

What is meant by religious commitment is acts of obedience and worship, and righteous deeds, and refraining from haraam things. Mughni al-Muhtaaj (3/127).

The one who combines obedience to her Lord, doing the obligatory duties that are enjoined upon her, and avoiding the haraam things that she is forbidden to do, with obedience to her husband, has glad tidings from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that she will be highly honoured when she enters Paradise.

According to the hadeeth:

“If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise by whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.” Narrated by Ahmad (1664) and others; classed as hasan by al-Albaani because of another report in Saheeh al-Targheeb, as stated by al-Arna’oot in Takhreej al-Musnad.

7. She is a devout worshipper and one who fasts

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“It may be if he divorced you (all) that his Lord will give him instead of you, wives better than you __ Muslims (who submit to Allaah), believers, obedient (to Allaah), turning to Allaah in repentance, worshipping Allaah sincerely, given to fasting or emigrants (for Allaah’s sake), previously married and virgins”

al-Baghawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “will give him instead of you, wives better than you Muslims” means who submit to Allaah and obey Him. “believers” who believe in the Oneness of Allaah (Tawheed).

“obedient (to Allaah)” means obedient, or it was said: who offer supplication (du’aa’), or who pray.

“given to fasting or emigrants” those who fast often, or Zayd ibn Aslam said: women who migrated (for the sake of Allaah), or it was said, who go with him wherever he goes. Tafseer al-Baghawi (8/168).

Thus it is known that “religious commitment” (deen) is a comprehensive word that includes different kinds of worship, obedience, characteristics and attitudes. It is essential to note that that which we have said of these qualities and deeds is not the same with all women, rather there are different degrees thereof, and that is well known. The more modest, knowledgeable and devoted to worship a woman is, the more desirable she is as a wife.

Whatever the case, the woman who is religiously committed is the one who will help a man to protect his own religious commitment, and help him with regard to his Hereafter; she will make him happy when he looks at her and she will protect him when he is absent, and she will raise his children well.

The word dhikr means remembrance and in the Islamic context, it is used in the sense of remembrance of Allah.

Allah (subhana wa tala) tells us in the Quran:

“O you who believe! Remember Allah with much remembrance.” (33:41)

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) also told us:

“He who remembers his Lord and he who does not are like the living and the dead.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Dhikr is an all-embracing term that, in addition to including the ritual acts of worship, covers an array of activities of the tongue and heart. It involves thinking of and making mention of Allah at all times and in every area of our lives. This is the worship that has no special time, but is performed constantly so that it permanently links up man’s life with Allah and His service.

The importance of constant dhikr cannot be emphasized enough, particularly if we desire to be on the receiving end of Allah’s attention, Grace and Mercy.

Allah tells us in the Quran:

“Then remember Me, I will remember you.“ ( 2:152 )

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) told us that Allah has said: “I am with My servant when he remembers Me and his lips move making mention of Me.” (Bukhari), He also said: “A man does nothing more calculated to rescue him from Allah’s punishment than making mention of Allah.” (Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

In addition to our ritual acts of worship including the most frequent one i.e. salat-prayer, there are many other ways of remembering Allah. Of these, reading and reciting the Qur’an is the foremost. Allah refers to the Quran as ‘Adh-dhikr’ i.e. ‘The Remembrance’ or ‘The Reminder’ in as many as 55 places in the Quran. In Surah Saad, Verse 1, He tells us:

“By the Quran, full of dhikr.”

And in verse 49:

“This (the Quran) is no less than a dhikr for all the worlds”.

Reading, understanding, reflecting and pondering on Allah’s words is the most effective way of remembering Him.

Dhikr also includes remembering Allah when one gets up in the morning, on starting to do anything, on eating, leaving the house, on entering various places and before performing so many other activities. Our Prophet (saw) has taught us the appropriate supplications for every occasion and if we can recite these with understanding, all our activities will, Inshallah, amount to His remembrance and worship. With a little effort these can be learnt; but if for any reason one cannot remember the appropriate one, then even saying Bismillah and being conscious of Allah amounts to dhikr and will be a source of barakah – blessing in everything we do.

When a man said:

“O Messenger of Allah the ordinances of Islam are too many for me, so tell me something that I may cling to”, he (peace be upon him) replied: “Your tongue will continue to be supple by making mention of Allah.” (Tirmidhi & Ibn Majah)

There are so many ways of remembering Allah, taught to us by our Prophet (saw). When we glorify Him by saying Subhanallah (How perfect is Allah), when we praise Him by saying Alhamdulillah (All praise is for Allah), when we magnify Him by saying Allahu Akbar (Allah is the Greatest), all this is dhikr. When we say Astaghfirullah (I seek Allah’s forgiveness), when we say La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (There is no power nor might except with Allah), all this is dhikr. Our Prophet (saw) also said: “(There are) Two words, (which are) light on the tongue, heavy on the Scale and beloved to The Most Gracious: “SubhaanAllaahi wa bihamdihi. Subhaan Allaahil azeem.” (How perfect Allah is and I praise Him. How perfect Allah is, The Supreme.)

We have also been taught the prescribed dhikr for the mornings and evenings. Allah tells us in the Qur’an regarding prayers and dhikr:

“So glorify Allah when you come up to the evening and when you enter the morning. And His are all the praises and thanks in the heavens and the earth; and in the late afternoon and when you come up to the times when the day begins to decline.” (30; 17-18)

The morning and evening dhikr should also include seeking Allah’s protection from Satan’s machinations and whisperings and all those things that can harm us. Our Prophet (saw) said: “The devil is encircling the heart of the son of Adam, when he mentions Allah, he withdraws; but when he is neglectful, he makes evil suggestions.” (Bukhari)

When we supplicate to Allah earnestly, this is also dhikr. Dhikr can be done anywhere and at anytime. Allah tell us in the Quran:

“Men who remember Allah standing, sitting and lying down on their sides and contemplate the (wonders of) creation.”(3:191).

Ablution is not a prerequisite for dhikr and dhikr can be pronounced with the tongue or done silently. However, when one is saying it, one must not do it with a careless and inattentive heart and try to be conscious of what one is saying.

Dhikr is not only to remember and mention Allah when one is on one’s own but also when one is amongst people i.e. in assemblies. Our Prophet (saw) told us that that Allah said:

“I am present when My servant thinks of me, and I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me inwardly I shall remember him inwardly and if he remembers Me in people, I shall remember him among people who are better than they.” (Bukhari & Muslim) He peace be upon him also said: “People will not sit remembering Allah without the angels surrounding them, mercy covering them, peace descending on them and Allah mentioning them among those who are with them.” (Muslim)

Gatherings where people assemble to learn and teach religion and to remember Him are greatly encouraged and valued in Islam. Allah has angels who go about seeking those who remember Allah. Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“When you come upon the pastures of Paradise, feed on them.” When asked what the pastures of Paradise were he replied that they were circles where Allah is remembered. (Tirmidhi)

Even when people come together for social purposes, it is important to remember Allah in some way. Our Prophet (saw) said: “People who arise from an assembly in which they do not remember Allah will be just as if they had got up from an ass’s corpse and it will be a cause of grief to them.” (Abu Dawud).

There are many prescribed ways of dhikr that are acceptable and praiseworthy in our religion. It is important to remember that dhikr must be done in these prescribed ways as Allah tells us:

“And celebrate His praises as he has directed you.”(2;198)

Thus creating one’s own ways of dhikr for e.g. reading something or reading something for a specific number of times, unless there is evidence of it in the Quran and the Sunnah, is to be avoided as it may result in the wastage of one’s good deeds.

Dhikr is a means of blessings and reward from Allah and also results in peace of mind. Allah tells us in the Quran:

“Those who believe and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah, for without doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction.”(13;28)

It is vital for our salvation that we remember Allah at all times, both in private and when amongst people. The men and women who remember Allah have been specially mentioned in the Quran amongst the categories of people that are dear to Allah. We have been told about them:

“And for men and women who engage much in Allah’s remembrance. For them has Allah prepared forgiveness and a great reward.” (33;35)

May Allah make us of those who remember Allah much. Ameen

Allah’s sacred month of Muharram is a blessed and important month. It is the first month of the Hijri calendar and is one of the four sacred months concerning which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the number of months with Allaah is twelve months (in a year), so it was ordained by Allaah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them, four are sacred. That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein…” [al-Tawbah 9:36]

Abu Bakrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The year is twelve months of which four are sacred, the three consecutive months of Dhu’l-Qa’dah, Dhu’l-Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab Mudar which comes between Jumaada and Sha’baan.”(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2958).

Muharram is so called because it is a sacred (muharram) month and to confirm its sanctity.Allaah’s words (interpretation of the meaning): “so wrong not yourselves therein…” mean do not wrong yourselves in these sacred months, because sin in these months is worse than in other months.It was reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said that this phrase (so wrong not yourselves therein…) referred to all the months, then these four were singled out and made sacred, so that sin in these months is more serious and good deeds bring a greater reward.

Qutaadah said concerning this phrase (so wrong not yourselves therein…) that wrongdoing during the sacred months is more serious and more sinful that wrongdoing at any other time. Wrongdoing at any time is a serious matter, but Allaah gives more weight to whichever of His commands He will. Allaah has chosen certain ones of His creation. He has chosen from among the angels Messengers and from among mankind Messengers. He chose from among speech the remembrance of Him (dhikr). He chose from among the earth the mosques, from among the months Ramadaan and the sacred months, from among the days Friday and from among the nights Laylat al-Qadr, so venerate that which Allaah has told us to venerate. People of understanding and wisdom venerate the things that Allaah has told us to venerate.(Summarized from the Tafseer of Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him. Tafseer of Surat al-Tawbah, aayah 36).

The Virtue of observing more naafil fasts during Muharram.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The best of fasting after Ramadaan is fasting Allaah’s month of Muharram.’” (reported by Muslim, 1982).

The phrase “Allaah’s month”, connecting the name of the month to the name of Allaah in a genitive grammatical structure, signifies the importance of the month. Al-Qaari said: “The apparent meaning is all of the month of Muharram.” But it was proven that the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never fasted any whole month apart from Ramadan, so this hadeeth is probably meant to encourage increasing one’s fasting during Muharram, without meaning that one should fast for the entire month.

It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to fast more in Sha’baan. It is likely that the virtue of Muharram was not revealed to him until the end of his life, before he was able to fast during this month. (Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Saheeh Muslim).

Allaah chooses whatever times and places He wills

Al-‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Times and places may be given preferred status in two ways, either temporal or religious/spiritual. With regard to the latter, this is because Allaah bestows His generosity on His slaves at those times or in those places, by giving a greater reward for deeds done, such as giving a greater reward for fasting in Ramadaan than for fasting at all other times, and also on the day of ‘Aashooraa’, the virtue of which is due to Allaah’s generosity and kindness towards His slaves on that day…” (Qawaa’id al-Ahkaam, 1/38).

Praise be to Allaah.

Ibn Al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said regarding this matter:

There are four kinds of love, which we must differentiate between, and those who go astray do so because they do not make this distinction. The first of them is love of Allaah, but this alone is not sufficient to save a person from the punishment of Allaah and to earn him His reward. The Mushrikeen, worshippers of the cross, Jews and others all love Allaah. The second is love of that which Allaah loves. This is what brings a person into Islam and out of Kufr. The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who is most correct and most devoted in this kind of love. The third kind is love for the sake of Allaah, which is one of the essentials of loving that which Allaah loves. A person’s love of that which Allaah loves cannot be complete until he also loves for the sake of Allaah. The fourth is love for something alongside Allaah, and this love has to do with shirk. Everyone who loves things alongside Allaah but not for the sake of Allaah has taken that thing as a rival to Allaah. This is the love of the Mushrikeen. There remains a fifth kind of love which has nothing to do with our topic; this is the natural love which is a person’s inclination towards that which suits his nature, such as the love of a thirsty person for water or of a hungry person for food, or the love of sleep, or of one’s wife and children. There is nothing wrong with this unless it distracts a person from remembering Allaah and keeps him from loving Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):

“O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Munaafiqoon 63:9]

“Men whom neither trade nor sale (business) diverts from the remembrance of Allaah” [al-Noor 24:37]

(Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, 1/134)

And he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):

The difference between loving for the sake of Allaah and loving something alongside Allaah is one of the most important distinctions. Everyone needs to make this distinction and is indeed obliged to do so. Loving for the sake of Allaah is a sign of the perfection of faith, but loving something alongside Allaah is the essence of shirk. The difference between them is that a person’s love for the sake of Allaah is connected to his love of Allaah; if this love becomes strong in his heart, this love dictates that he will love that which Allaah loves. If he loves that which his Lord loves and he loves those who are the friends of Allaah, this is love for the sake of Allaah. So he loves His Messengers, Prophets, angels and close friends because Allaah loves them, and he hates those who hate them because Allaah hates those people. The sign of the love and hatred for the sake of Allaah is that his hatred for the one whom Allaah hates will not turn into love merely because that person treats him kindly, does him a service or meets some need he has; and his love for those whom Allaah loves will not turn to hatred simply because that person does something that upsets or hurts him, whether it is done by mistake or deliberately, in obedience to Allaah or because the person feels that he has a duty to do it for some reason, or because the person is a wrongdoer who may yet give up his wrongdoing and repent. The entire religion revolves around four principles: love and hatred, and stemming from them, action and abstinence. The person whose love and hatred, action and abstinence, are all for the sake of Allaah, has perfected his faith so that when he loves, he loves for the sake of Allaah, when he hates, he hates for the sake of Allaah, when he does something, he does it for the sake of Allaah, and when he abstains from something, he abstains for the sake of Allaah. To the extent that he is lacking in these four categories, he is lacking in faith and commitment to religion. This is in contrast to the love of things alongside Allaah, which is of two types. One is diametrically opposed to the principle of Tawheed and is shirk; the other is opposed to perfection of sincerity and love towards Allaah, but does not put a person beyond the pale of Islam.

The first kind is like the love of the Mushrikeen for their idols and gods. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allaah as rivals (to Allaah). They love them as they love Allaah” [al-Baqarah 2:165]

These Mushrikeen love their idols and gods alongside Allaah as they love Allaah. This love and devotion is accompanied by fear, hope, worship and supplication. This love is pure Shirk which Allaah does not forgive. Faith cannot be perfected unless a person regards these idols as enemies and hates them intensely, and hates the people who worship them, and regards them as enemies and strives against them. This is the message with which Allaah sent all His Messengers and revealed all His Books. He created Hell for the people of shirk who love these rivals, and He created Paradise for those who strive against them and take them as enemies for His sake and to earn His Pleasure. Anybody who worships anything from the vicinity of the Throne to the lowest depths of the earth and takes a god and a supporter besides Allaah and associates another beings in worship with Him, will be disowned by the object of his worship when he is most in need of it [i.e., on the Day of Judgement].

The second kind is love for the things which Allaah has made attractive to people, such as women, children, gold, silver, branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. People love them with a kind of desire, like the love of the hungry person for food and the thirsty person for water. This love is of three kinds. If a person loves them for the sake of Allaah and as a means of obeying Allaah, he will be rewarded for that; it will be counted as a part of love for the sake of Allaah and a means of reaching Him, and he will still find enjoyment in them. This is how the best of creation [i.e. the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] was, to whom women and perfume were made dear in this world, and his love for them helped him to love Allaah more and to convey His Message and fulfil His commands. If a person loves them because they suit his nature and his own desires, but he does not give them preference over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, and he gets them because of his natural inclination, then they come under the heading of things which are permissible, and he will not be punished for that, but his love of Allaah and for the sake of Allaah will be lacking somewhat. If his sole purpose in life is to get these things, and he gives priority to that over that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, then he is wronging himself and following his own desires.

The first is the love of al-Saabiqoon (those who are foremost in Islam); the second is the love of al-muqtasidoon (those who are average) and the third is the love of al-zaalimoon (the wrongdoers).

Al-Rooh by Ibn al-Qayyim, 1/254.

May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.